Showing posts with label Santa- Banta sms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa- Banta sms. Show all posts

Friday, October 7, 2011

Santa - Banta And Bhabhi Sms- Santa jokes


Santa-yar tere our bhabhi ki jodi to Ram-Sita ki jodi hai

Banta-kahan yar,na to yeh dharti me samati hai our,

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Santa-yar aaj mere girlfrd ka birday hae usko kya du -


Santa-yar aaj mere girlfrd ka birday hae usko kya du 

Monday, October 18, 2010

Santa and Navratri

Santa orders for chicken in a Dhaba. 

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Santa ki pait kharab ho gaya


Santa ki pait kharab ho gaya 

to wo doctor ko

Santa & Banta train k peeche bhag rahe the


Santa & Banta train k peeche bhag rahe the 

Santa chadh gaya train me logo bole WEL DONE
Santa- Khaak wel done
jana to usey tha
main to usey chhodne aaya tha

Monday, May 3, 2010

sANTA aND bANTA mASTI

Interviewer: Wat is ur Qualification?

Santa: Sir,
I'm Ph.D

Intrviwer: Ph.D?
wo b aap
Kaise?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Santa Banta

Interviewer: Wat is ur Qualification?

Santa: Sir,
I'm Ph.D

Intrviwer: Ph.D?
wo b aap
Kaise?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Santa- Banta

Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar. 


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

संता : यार मेरे 5 साल के बेटे ने मेरी सारी कविताएं फाड़ डाली।- Hindi Chutkule

संता : यार मेरे 5 साल के बेटे ने मेरी सारी कविताएं फाड़ डाली।
 

Santa - Banta



mouth wash

Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"




Free Delivery

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'



Can I have a burger and coke


Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"




drawing money


Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.




Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay,

Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.




Manmohan Singh


Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM



girl receives the call


Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya




जीतो: पता है सिनेमा हॉल में मुझे 6 बार अपनी सीट बदलनी पड़ी!
प्रीतो: क्यों सिनेमा हॉल में क्या तुम्हें किसी ने छेड़ा?
जीतो: हाँ आखिरकार छेवीं सीट पर!





नासा ने संता को चाँद पर भेजा (रोकेट आधे रास्ते से वापिस आ गया)!
नासा वालो ने पूछा: वापिस क्यों आ गए?
संता बोला: आज तो अमावस्या है चाँद तो आज होगा ही नहीं!






Ek raat Light Chali gayi to ..
Santa: Banta fan to jala do
Banta:- Yaar kar din a sardaro wali baat, Fan chala diya to mombatti bhutt jayegi na…




Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,paas karke dikha.



संता: सर आप अपनी पत्नी को पार्टी में क्यों नहीं ले कर जाते?
मालिक: क्योंकि वो गाँव की है!
संता: माफ़ कीजिये मुझे लगा कि वो सिर्फ आपकी है!

संता : यार मेरे 5 साल के बेटे ने मेरी सारी कविताएं फाड़ डाली।
बंता : बधाई हो, इतनी कम उम्र में तुम्हारा बेटा साहित्य का पारखी बन गया है।

Titanic was sinking.


Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"

Banta: Downwards

एक सर्कस में लड़की ने शेर को किस किया!
रिंगमास्टर: आप में से कोई यह कर सकता है?
संता: मैं आता हूँ पर पहले इस शेर को पीछे करो!



संता: सर आप अपनी पत्नी को पार्टी में क्यों नहीं ले कर जाते?
मालिक: क्योंकि वो गाँव की है!
संता: माफ़ कीजिये मुझे लगा कि वो सिर्फ आपकी है!

अध्यापक ने बंता की कॉपी पर लिख कर भेजा: कृपया अपने बच्चे को नहला कर भेजा करो!
बंता की माँ ने लिख कर भेजा: आप बच्चे को पढ़ाया करो सुंगा न करो!


Santa- Banta Sms



जीतो: इस टॉप के मैं आपको क्या दूँ?
दुकानदार: सिर्फ एक किस!
जीतो: उधार रहा! कल मेरी दादी आ कर आपका उधार दे जायेंगी!
Santa -Banta

Doctor: Aap Ka Weight Kitna Hai?Santa: Chashme(Opticals) K Saath 75kgDoctor: Aur Chasme K Bina!Santa: Vo Muje Dikhta Hi Nahi


Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was TeachingMathematical Conversions
Teacher-If1000 Kgs= Ton.Then
For 3000 Kgs=How Much?
Santa-Ton!Ton!Ton!

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain. Banta: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.


Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main ! Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai


Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.

Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa : I am falling in love.

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gay

Santa kissed his girl friend in the park.
Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…
Santa: Don’t worry darling, I‘m already married.






One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa: Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No



Indian flag

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.




Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man

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